This photo is taken from a blog I found called “Mike and Ruby’s Website” (direct link), which appears to be the adventures of two fellow Canadians who tour the world on motorcycles; the photo itself is of straw and mud bricks taken during their 2008 tour of Mali. I’m fairly certain that my pal Yoanna will eventually do something like this – the tour on motorcycles that is, not the artisanal manufacture of mud and straw bricks.

Speaking of bricks, I’m actually a bit off-topic as I’m actually doing blah-blah about a muffin recipe. I may think “brick”, but I’m talking “muffin”. I first came across these things on a desk at the Big M (soon about to transform itself into the New M). Dark brown in color, didn’t appear to have risen very much during baking and with all the airiness of a competition shotput. I wasn’t convinced that it was a healthy nutrient-laden foodstuff it was touted to be since all I could think of was how one would have to gnaw at this “muffin” in the same way British sailors used to gnaw at hardtack. I’ve had a lot of very expensive dental work and while all that titanium likely means that I could probably bite through a bottle cap, I do have to be somewhat careful.

Fast-forward five years and what am I handed? A bona fide copy of this lead beast of a recipe. Incroyable! Actual instructions on how to make my own batch of nutritious and theoretically-edible shotput. It’s quite the riveting read: when I initially went through it, the first thought that came to mind was the scene from the Ten Commandments when Charleton Heston gives up his privileged life to start working among the slaves making mud and straw bricks so as to learn of their hardship. [aside: I'd just like to say that I like Charleton Heston; he was cool regardless of his politics, just like Clint Eastwood]

Seriously though – this is a developed recipe that has been thought out on a nutritional level. There are multiple sources of complex carbohydrates which should release energy over the immediate, medium and long term. There’s fibre (the GI moderator) to help movement and to provide satiety signals. And some fruit. About the only thing that’s missing is protein (1 egg divided 6 or 12-ways isn’t protein), but then again, it’s a muffin recipe and not a meatloaf. Given the composition, there’s no reason not to think this wouldn’t keep you going for hours in addition to triggering NP-Y release to say to your brain that you’re full.

Ingredients

The base recipe will apparently produce  12 small muffins or 6 large ones. This recipe also appears to scale linearly without any specific issues or modifications, so if you happen to have some drunken Scots over and need twice the number of shotput, just double the quantities. So, without further ado, the list of dry ingredients:

• 250 mL / 1 cup All-Bran cereal
• 250 mL / 1 cup Graham flour
• 125 mL / 0.5 cup Pablum
• 30 mL / 2 tbsp bran
• 50 mL / 0.25 cup brown sugar (the alternative is Sugar Twin but if you’re going to make a brick, use real ingredients)
• 50 mL / 0.25 cup wheat germ
• 5 mL / 1 tsp baking soda
• 2 mL / 0.5 tsp sal
• 2 mL / 0.5 tsp cinnamon
• 125 mL / 0.5 cup red or white raisins (ye gads! truly the invention of the Devil)

And the wet ingredients:

• 1 egg
• 75 mL / 0.33 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 50 mL / 0.25 cup molasses
• 175 mL / 0.75 cup milk
• 2 mL / 0.5 tsp vanilla

Instructions

Measure out all the dry ingredients into a bowl and mix together.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg and add the remaining wet ingredients and mix well. Slowly add the dry ingredients and mix until all are well-incorporated.

Pre-heat the oven to 190ºC / 375ºF. Place the mixture into muffin pans lined with paper. Bake 20 minutes for small muffins, and 30 minutes for large ones.

Impressions

Well, I actually have none since I’ve never eaten one of these muffins - I can still remember lifting one that first time and thinking “wow, who’d have thought something that small was so dense?” Anyway, I’m sure they’re good for you at some level, with even the ingredient shopping doing its bit to provide a workout. Just don’t forget that a couple of thousand batches baked into loaf pans rather than muffin tins would offer up just enough material to help keep the Wolf away.

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